leeshajoy: (clover)
Today's my birthday. I should be celebrating. Instead, I'm sitting inside, trying not to cry as I think about the state of the world right now.

My own situation isn't too bad. I'm working extremely reduced hours at the hotel because so few people are traveling, but I have enough savings to get by for a while. In fact, I'm seriously considering going on unpaid leave for the rest of the month so I don't have to fret over whether I'm working on a given day or not.

No, it's other people I'm worried about. How many people are going to get sick, or get other people sick, because they can't afford to stay at home? How many people are stuck in quarantine with their abusers? How many people are going to lose their livelihoods because of the economy tanking? How much are things going to change, forever, because of this pandemic?

This is going to sound hyperbolic, but I genuinely feel like I'm in mourning right now. The world that existed last week is gone, and there's nothing I can do.
leeshajoy: (everything sucks forever)
I woke up this morning with a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach.

This has been a fairly common thing lately; my anxiety and depression have been in high gear since early December, and I still haven't quite been able to nail down why. It's probably a combination of things: the changing of the seasons, a change in the formulation of my anxiety meds, various forms of horrible news happening in the outside world, et cetera. Whatever it was, for a significant chunk of December I was swinging between being so nervous I thought I would burst like a balloon and just wanting to crawl into a hole and die.

My mood improved considerably by the end of the month, but I'm still having "episodes" every now and then. Like today.

I managed to get through the work day despite having a crying breakdown in the middle of the morning. Now I'm here, typing this out, and I'm trying to think of what I can do to make things better, and what I even want out of life right now, and I don't know.

I want to live in a world where there's justice.
I want our leaders to have empathy for the people they lead.
I want our modes of communication and self-expression to not be dependent on making money for a third party.
I want to know that the friends I've made through those modes of communication still care about me, and would miss me if I was gone.



I want to stop feeling this way.
leeshajoy: (Twilight Sparkle - nervous breakdown)
On the one hand, the current shitshow on Tumblr has reminded me of all the shitty aspects of that particular social media platform that made me hesitant to join it in the first place.

On the other hand, checking Tumblr has become such a compulsive habit for me that I've all but forgotten what I used to do with my time before I joined the damn thing.
leeshajoy: (everything sucks forever)
Does anyone else feel like the world is ending and we've passed the point where anything we could do will change that?
leeshajoy: (Dominic Deegan: headdesk)
I want to drift off to sleep and forget everything that's happened in the past 24 hours.

I feel like I might never sleep again.
leeshajoy: (Default)
So I just got back from seeing Finding Dory and I am OVERWHELMED. If the first movie felt like getting run over by the Feels Train, the sequel feels like getting run over by the Feels Steamroller.

I had heard vague rumblings on social media about how the movie was anti-ableist and supportive of those with disabilities. I went in cautiously optimistic. I was not prepared for what I found.

Spoilers ahoy! Proceed at your own risk! )
leeshajoy: (Danbo has a flower for you)
Comment to this post, and I will list seven things I want you to talk about. They might make sense or they might be totally random.

Then post that list, with your commentary, to your journal. Other people can get lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself.



My seven questions, from [personal profile] minkhollow:

1) What pulled you into My Little Pony? )
2) Anything you're looking forward to doing after the Milliways move? )
3) What's your dream job? )
4) If you could live anywhere you wanted, where would it be? Why? )
5) Unpopular Fandom Opinion from the fandom of your choice? )
6) All-time favorite movie? Why? )
7) If given the choice, are you a pets-having kind of person? Why or why not? )

March 2020

S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
1516 1718192021
22232425262728
2930 31    

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios